I know not all of you share my faith and beliefs but I feel like it is important for me to post the talk I prepared for church last Sunday. I believe in Jesus Christ and want to share my testimony of His love for each of us.
Jeremy and I were married for nine years before being blessed with a child. Those were painful years full of heartache, embarrassment, doubt, and at times anger. I felt like Hannah in the book of Samuel – that the Lord had shut my womb. Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day were difficult for me. I had a hard time bringing myself to church on those days. Once we could afford the cost of adopting a child we began the application process. Seven months after finishing the applications we were chosen by a birth mother. I was so excited. We met that sweet birth mother and started to make plans to proceed with the adoption.
It never occurred to me to stop and ask the Lord if we should adopt this child. A few days after meeting the birth mother, Jeremy told me that he had been praying about the baby and he felt that it was not ours to adopt. He encouraged me to seek an answer from the Lord as well. I had trouble obtaining an answer because my desire to be a mother was overriding my desire to know the will of God. After fasting and spending a tearful morning in the temple I received a clear answer that we needed to decline this adoption opportunity. I was crushed. It felt like the Lord was asking too much of me – to place the opportunity for a child, a family, in front of me but seemingly take it away. Hadn’t I suffered enough? I felt like God had turned his back on my righteous desire. The pain was almost unbearable. I put on a brave face in public – even with my family, but I spent many lonely hours crying and questioning the Lord. My heart longed for a child and I am ashamed to say, hardened against the Lord.
Thanksgiving of that year was a particularly low point. I retreated to a closet, curled up in a ball and cried – once again I was facing the holiday season without a baby or even hope of a baby. I prayed like I have never prayed before. I went back and forth between giving the Lord a piece of my mind and begging his forgiveness. I pleaded for understanding, for peace, for something! And in that closet something miraculous happened. My heart changed. I felt the love of the Lord. I felt myself come closer to Him. My heart softened, healed, and yielded to His wisdom and plan for me. I received a special witness of God’s love for me. I knew he loved me and I felt complete trust in Him. I continued to rebuild my trust in Heavenly Father and my faith in the Savior. After a time, I knew I was healed spiritually and physically. Three months after that night in the closet we found out we were pregnant with our first child.
My pain of childlessness, and frustration with the limitations of my physical body were overcome through the healing power of the Atonement. Today I want to share with you how the Atonement can heal each of us from our earthly trials.
Each of us will face pain, disappointment, grief, and suffering during our mortal life.
Elder Spencer W. Kimball said: “We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, pain and comforts, ease and hardships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments; and we knew also that we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. … We were willing to come and take life as it came” (“Tragedy or Destiny,” Improvement Era, Mar. 1966, 217).
Only through this mortal education can we learn what we need to know to make us more like our Father in Heaven. And as a loving parent, who wants the best for us, He needs to let us experience the bumps in the road.
In the movie Finding Nemo, little Nemo the clownfish is taken from the ocean by a diver. Nemo’s father Marlin feels he failed at protecting his son from the dangers of the ocean. He tells his friend Dorry: “But I promised I would never let anything happen to him.”
Dorry replies, “That’s a funny thing to promise. Because if you never let anything happen to him; then nothing would ever happen to him.”
The scriptures teach that “there is….opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11) Just as times of joy and happiness come to each of us, so also comes pain to every mortal.
“Could the Lord… [prevent]… tragedies? The answer is, Yes.” But, “Should all prayers be immediately answered according to our selfish desires and our limited understanding, then there would be little or no suffering, sorrow, disappointment, or even death, and if these were not, there would also be no joy, success, resurrection, or eternal life.” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, Spencer W. Kimball, p.14-15)
In the words of Dorry – nothing would ever happen to us. But it is hard to remember that we were “willing to take life as it [comes]” in the dark times when all we want is peace or comfort or healing.
“Sometimes in the depth of pain we are tempted to ask, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?” (Jeremiah 8:22) I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all [the] conditions and purposes of mortality.” (Elder Kent F. Richards, “The Atonement Covers All Pain”, April 2011 General Conference)
But how? How does the Atonement heal our pain? How and when does the relief come?
President Henry B. Eyring taught: “It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. … And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. (“Adversity”, Ensign, May 2009)
So the relief comes as we lean on the Lord, find patience, pray, work, and wait.
In October 1998, Elder Robert D. Hales gave a beautiful message on the Atonement’s healing power. The following are his words: “We must battle our pain day by day, and sometimes hour by hour, even moment by moment; but in the end we understand that marvelous counsel given to the Prophet Joseph Smith as he struggled…in Liberty Jail: ‘My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity… shall be but a small moment. And then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high… (Doctrine & Covenants 121:7-8)’.
“I have come to understand how useless it is to dwell on the whys, what ifs, and if onlys for which there likely will be given no answers in mortality. To receive the Lord’s comfort, we must exercise faith. The questions Why me? Why our family? Why now? are usually unanswerable questions. These questions detract from our spirituality and can destroy our faith. We need to spend our time and energy building our faith by turning to the Lord and asking for strength to overcome the pains and trials of this world and to endure to the end for greater understanding.
“My dear brothers and sisters, when pain, tests, and trials come in life, draw near to the Savior. “Wait upon the Lord, … look for him” (Isaiah 8:17; 2 Nephi 18:17). “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). Healing comes in the Lord’s time and the Lord’s way; be patient.” (Robert D. Hales, “Healing Soul and Body”, Oct. 1998 General Conference)
I am still learning to be patient. Probably many of us are! Let me remind you of President Eyring’s words: “faith…will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help.” If I can’t succeed at patience, I can work hard at prayer.
Since prayer is something I can do. I decided to look up PRAYER in the Bible Dictionary and study it out in the scriptures. Although I had read the Bible Dictionary definition before, I was surprised at how much it touched my heart this time in reference to the Atonement. I’d like to share what I found with you.
Bible Dictionary: PRAYER - is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God… Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining… all blessings.
The object is NOT to change the will of God. The object is to bring my will into correspondence with my Heavenly Father’s will. This was an “A-Ha!” moment for me. I was humbled as I pondered and realized that the Savior really does know how what it is like to accept Heavenly Father’s will especially when it is painful.
In John 6:38 we read: “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.”
And in Mark 14:36 “…he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.”
Christ’s example of yielding to the Father’s will in the Garden of Gethsemane proves to me that he knows how difficult it can be to accept mortal pain. And it is a testament to me that his “bowels [are] filled with mercy, according to the flesh.” (Alma 7:12)
Our Savior was willing to submit himself to the will of the Father. Even he asked, if it were possible, that Heavenly Father would end his suffering; while at the same time teaching us that he was ultimately willing to accept the Father’s will. Can we expect to be saved without doing the same? Far too many times, we do. And we do it because we’re mortal and limited in our understanding and abilities.
“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.” (Mosiah 3:19)
“Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become “a saint through the atonement of Christ.” The pain you and I experience may be where this process is most measured. In extremity, we can become as children in our hearts, humble ourselves, and “pray and work and wait” patiently for the healing of our bodies and our souls.” (Kent F. Richards, “The Atonement Covers All Pain”, April 2011 General Conference)
How do we know when the healing has come? And what if it is not what we expected? As Elder Dallin H. Oaks has taught: “Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a ‘healing’ cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.”
Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm.
John 16:32-33 … “These things I have spoken unto you that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
“Sometimes we think of the power of the Atonement as something that works after this life, as though it were something that applied only at the Judgment Day. But that is not true doctrine. The redeeming power of Jesus Christ works during our lives, day by day, moment by moment, as He gives us strength to overcome, as He forgives us of sin, and as He brings us, through the Holy Ghost, comfort, peace, and joy.” (“The Prince of Glory”, Elder Bruce D. Porter, December 2009 Ensign)
“…begin to believe in the Son of God…” (Alma 33:22)
“…with his stripes we are healed.” (Is. 53:5) “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee” (Ps. 55:22). When trials come – and they surely will –exercise your faith in the power of the Savior’s atoning sacrifice. With patience, push ahead and pray and work and wait. Aligning our will to the Lord’s opens us up, physically and spiritually, to the healing power and joy that can only be found in God. I know this to be true because it has happened in my own life.
“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)
“And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son” (Alma 33:23).
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Can this cutie be 10 months old already? This post is two weeks overdue. Annie turned 10 months on August 18. She has changed so much in the past month. She is starting to take steps without assistance. She has two bottom teeth and two top ones coming in fast. She is starting to refuse baby food and wants to try whatever the family is eating for dinner. Annie loves to look at books and can turn the pages now by herself. She played on the beach for the first time this month and loved the sand and water. She didn't mind the cold or getting sandy. Her favorite toy is any toy Lily is playing with. Her favorite person is still Mommy, but Annie and Daddy are starting to form their own special relationship too. Annie is completely weaned and loved to get her own drinks out of a sippy cup. She sleeps through the night and still takes two naps a day - which Mommy loves! Her fine motor skills are great. She likes to try and feed herself with a spoon and she can color with a crayon. We're so thankful for you Annie. Keep growing strong!
